It is always interesting to me how the parents shocked that we don’t use punishments are the parents that most seem to struggle with unending battles with their children. Time out after time out after time out and still the behavior continues. I am not claiming, by any stretch, that empathy and calm discussions will stop undesirable behaviors in their tracks. However, neither do the punitive methods. At the root of punishment is that underlying glaring message of you hurt me, I hurt you.