When this idea was first presented to me, I was floored. I had to take a long hard look the way I was teaching my children. Time outs, losing privileges, having to leave the park, were all my way of being a gentle parent because I wasn’t spanking them or screaming at them (very often). But. I was still inflicting harm. They felt sad and hurt by my consequences which actually led me to believe I was getting through to them although, truthfully, the behaviors weren’t stopping.